leaving

Tragic tears falling of wretched desires,
We fight to hold on, but are left to the fires.
Others have needed us to play favorite liars,
So selfless endeavors cut with their wires.

Beauty and damage in singular meaning,
Hearts, spades, and diamonds help with the bleeding.
Bandaged up scars don't bear repeating,
Still repeat by reminding every day leaving.

Playing and praying the same sorry song,
Wishing it different for why you are gone.
We'll see tomorrow, when sun breaks at dawn,
If anyone is left to where they belong.

dead letter

I had the good intention of writing an old-fashioned, hand-written letter to an old friend of mine today. We said "goodbye" some months ago, but not on bad terms or anything. I was even going to hand-deliver the letter, anonymously of course. I was really excited about this. I have found that I miss the little things more often than not like letters and drive-in movie theatres and and sweet wildflowers sprouting optimistically from a crack in the sidewalk. But, long story short, a phone call ruined it all. Sometimes things need to be said, but instead, they are stifled and interrupted. So be it. I will save the occasion for something with more splendor. I shouldn't have answered the phone, but I didn't know who it was. So I never forget, here is the start of said letter:

I called you today. You didn't answer. I tried to leave a message, but the words stopped short in my throat. I never forgot you. I've thought about you daily wondering if all is well. I hope it is. I would love to talk with you again, share a laugh or two. Maybe even a dance to some funky in-between song we couldn't agree on.

And, as I already mentioned, that is when you called and I never finished the letter. Instead I chose to rant to myself (and anyone else here, I guess) about how crappy people are because they are so selfish and coldhearted and I could really use a drink right now and a tattoo, a really big tattoo, the one I've been wanting for so long, and make up a new Irish toast, even though I am not Irish, so I guess it really wouldn't be Irish, but a "cheers" nonetheless, and it went something like this...

Here's to you, and all your cheers,
For me, I'll have a few more beers!

Not too creative, but it made me smile at the time.