where do you go from here?

so, please tell me, does anyone know? how do you fathom something that is so unexpected when your expectations were nonexistent? how do you know it's okay to ride that crazy wave and just see what happens?
let me preface with this... i recently realized that someone in my life is much more than i thought in the first place and it's a little scary. (you know what i'm talking about). i have feelings i had forgotten i used to know. before i go off on my famous 'cat lady' speech, maybe i should give this a chance, go against everything i had previously believed, throw that caution to the wind, and be real about the whole thing.
it's not often in my little life that i am able to get close with someone. it's not often that any of us can. i've made myself sick over this, but i spoke with my brother in depth, which is a landmark in itself, and he helped extract my overloaded head out of my ass, (pardon the bluntness of that statement).
life is living and risking and loving and playing and dancing and singing and sharing and remembering these things that once pained us but were totally worth it all in the end.
perhaps i have answered my own question.